Double A

my wish on my b’day bash…

well, i am going 20, and i thing it’s a whole lot different aspects of  life with what,ve been running in my quite not interesting life…

by the way, i don’t really thing what’ve been changing from this past 19 years, what i’m thinking rite now is how’s my future, what my life will be…

it’s been great all along, and this is sum thingz that i reaalllly want for my b’day bash…

1. a birhday cake!!

2. hang wit people i love on my b’day

3. take pics

4. have fun

5. blow candle

6. fancy dress

hello everyone, it’s been quite long since my last post…

i can’t write on coz my computer happenned to be broken, and i’m soooooooo damn busy for my exam, etc, so i have no time to catch up, even only to the internet cafe.

so may things happened for the past few weeks…

1. i’m so happy, so glad, cuz i get my life back.

my life is gettting good, more organized.

2. it’s new year, and i’m trying to be a better person

3. so sick with my gals who’s acting like i’m-not-wrong-but-you have-to ask-my forgiveness…for God’s sake, who does she think is she??

well, damn…gotta go

see u soon..

xoxo

Hi, everyone…

Quite busy this week, but I feel soooo lazy. Probably it’s because the weather, it’s been cloudy and raining quite a lot. So, it’s really good to snuggle up on my bed, watched the rain falling, read magz, it’s juz like heaven..

I’m so lazy, to get into the shower in the morning, coz the weather is so damn cold!! Becoz of that habit for this few past days, I always late for class. Heehee.

I’m happy this past 3 weeks, coz it’s iduL fitri n all my family came by and stay at my house. We did some great activities, and also crazy stuffs. We did hang, and I met bunch of my friends, who’d I haven’t seen for so long. And the best part, that I could hang with the one who understand me, my bro…

I’m happy with ‘hari lebaran’ coz it gives me a reason to meet long-time-no-see friends. They came to my house, we talked a lot of fun things, and that’s the best thing happened for this past weeks!

I’m quite confuse…confuse of my feeling…

Losing someone who used to be close to you is quite devastating.

And that’s what happened to me

I don’t know what to do. It’s like one time I feel I can stand on my own, doing my plans as I’ve planned before. But, On the other hand I feel like I ‘m still like him. I’m ready to let him go, but as you know that, it’s quite hard to forget someone that close to us. I admit it, that although I’m not as hurt as the first time I let him go, I still got a lil bit jealous with someone who close to him. But, hey what can I say, he’s like…not MiNe!!

Okay, we’ve still see each other sometime, it can’t resisted, becoz our circumstances force us to be like that. And, I STILL CAN’T act juz as usual as a friend, you know, usual kinda friend.

Things that I can’t wait : hanging out with my gurls, have fun, but the two of them will go back soon (hiks..). wish they were all the time with me, cos they’re my friends who understand me most!!!, meet and chill with my fun, always goofing around friends. cant’wait, coz they always make me laugh, and they have the juicest story too.

my favourite tunes this week are sexy love-neyo,

paris

’s album, useless id (I ‘ve juz known this band name like 3 days ago from a good friend of mine who gave me the cd. I’ve listened to his cd’s, but never figure it out, and I always forgot to ask. And finally when he sang this song, I remember and finally ask him.heehee), a song with lyrics “wait for the trains that may never arrive…”(it’s from him too, but I also dun have time to ask..ck..ck..),  cardigans, akon, jojo, rembrandts, mr.JT, fergie, lindsay lohan, hillary duff, finch.

Fave things to read,, still fashion magz, and gossip girl by von ziellwegar. It’s so smart, witty, fashionable, ambitious, quite funny and really thoughtful. If you wanna read something easy, but full of something, it’s worth it..

Well I guess that’s it, c u next week..(hopefully)..^^

With lots of love…xoxo

forgetting…is hard..

but it’s all depend on us on how to manage our thoughts, our feeling..

although sometimes we do mistakes, but it is the part f learning in our live.

what we have done, what we have said, it’s all have meaning..

sometimes careless is not the right way to do to solve problems, either with forgetting..

we live together along with time, we don’t when we’re done with our life. but as long as we can fulfill our life to the fullest, we’ve finished our responsibilities as a human being, who lives in this world

NOTHING HURTS LIKE LOVE

Broken hearts, broken dreams They’re just some things that love brings

When you learn that its all been a lie

You cry

You find that Nothing Nothing Nothing hurts like love

Nothing brings your heart so much pain

And you’ll never learn till you get burned

Till you’re burned by the flame

Nothing hurts so bad

Nothing hurts so much No nothing, hurts, like love

So you gave all you had

How this story turned so sad

Nothing left but the tears in your eyes

You die inside

So dry your eyes

It’s just your turn to learn

Your time to find that Nothing Nothing Nothing hurts like love

" Love is like an onion "

Love is like an onion, layered and protected from sudden consumption.

First, the outside looking in, you see it hard and solid,
but a protected treasure is hidden away.

Soon, your desires force you to peel back the first layer
and the shell breaks; you find more silky layers
and begin your journey.

You soon notice the detailed lines;
for the fine composition you develop a sudden admiration
and you find familiarity.

Soon, you see even more silky layers;
iridescence fills your senses, alive with wonder,
and soon your desire leads you to a center
and sweet aromas give you pleasure.

Consumed with desire, you take a first bite, and then another,
repeating the act to fill your body with the sweet taste of the flesh
and you learn to indulge yourself in these new wonders you’ve found.

Finally, all the sweet layers peeled away and consumed
with earthly delight, you find an unexpected end…

But alas, ode to joy,
the sheer memories of past onions will bring
tears to your eyes and sweet reminiscence

that day,,the weather was quite cold, a lil dark, but the noise from cars machine was annoying already, waken a girl named ayu from her sleep..

actually she didn’t want to wake up from her sleep, she’d lack of good sleeping habit recently..beside that reason, she doesn’t want to wake up becos if she got up from her sleep all the bad things would come around her again, things she doesn’t like, things cruel, things that hurtful, two faces people ( u know the one who’s kind, sweet and nice in front of us but a backstabber)..

half hearted, she got up from her bad, still quite tired of her dreams,a scary one, last nite, she looked herself in a mirror, checking her face…still kinda gloomy, her face’s pale, her eyes red and puffy becos of crying all day all nite, there’s seems no hope at all inside her face…there is no bright smile again from her lips, no singing a happy song in the morning…the only thing on her mind is just darkness and sorrow…

she can’t breath, her chest felt so full of something that makes her couldn’t breath, tears stung in her eyes, slowly falling down on her cheeks, then to the ground, with the slowest sound that no one couldn’t hear include herself…

she’s trying to breath…she took a deep breath, then trying to do her daily stuff properly…

facing the truth that all the things around her are so harmful, she’s quite scared to go out, doubtly she stepped out from her safe place…

and then, everything seem run well and smooth and normal…she saw it with doubtness

Sun’s up
A little after twelve
Make breakfast for myself
Leave the work for someone else
People say
They say that it’s just a phase
They tell me to act my age,
Well I am
On this perfect day,
Nothing’s standing in my way

On this perfect day,
When nothing can go wrong

It’s the perfect day,
Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am

On this perfect day

Sun’s down
A little after ten
I pick up all my friends
In my Mercedes-Benz

Wake up
Don’t tell me it’s just a dream
‘Cause when I’ve had enough
You’ll hear me say,
Now don’t you try to rain on my

Perfect day,
Nothing’s standing in my way

On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong

It’s the perfect day,
Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
La la la
La la la,
Oh, oh
I’m in the race
But I’ve already won
(La la la)
And getting there can
Be half the fun
(La la la)
So don’t stop me
Till I’m good and done,

Don’t you try to rain on me

Perfect day
It’s the perfect day

It’s the perfect day
Nothing’s gonna bring me down
I could stay, forever as I am

On this perfect day
Nothing’s standing in my way,

On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong

I’m in the race
But I’ve already won
And getting there can
Be half the fun,
So don’t stop me
Till I’m good and done,
Don’t you try to rain on my

Perfect, day
On this perfect day
On this perfect day

6:15 am..

probably i have to wake up earlier..but what can i say my eyes juz don’t want to compromise..it still wanna shut..well, hey it’s not ma fault..blame the activity of sleeping,,why sleeping is so damn good??

6:40am

after getting shower, still confused to choose which clothes to wear today, the pink one? or blue one? sleeveless? or…it took probably 10 minutes to figure it out..prepared my books then,,rushed to campus..no breakfast..well maybe a glass of milk that i drank rushly is a breakfast, tho??!!

7:00am

already in class,, yawning a lil bit..not relly wanna say hi to the others..cos my body still tweaking, my eyes sob and dreary, my mind still not working yet..so i juz sit on ma chair,,dayreaming..then some of my friends came in, some are late too..then the lecture’s coming in,,start to babbling around about wat they know..ready..get..set..go.. well i kinda wonder are they never fed up, tell the same thing about one subject every year to almost 450 peoples every year??

FYI i juz’ve heard about the subject about,,like..15 minutes, and i bored already, for God sake..so i start talking with my friends, gossip..sharing thoughts..laughing,,quite fun,,but doing it everyday.365 days wit the same persons,,is driving me insane..so i decided to keep my mouth shut sometimes..

11:00am

finally, the class is over..but..there’s still another class coming up..so i juz went home..sometimes i chillin with my friends..

when i ‘m at home,,i juzz doing useless stuff..u kno.. soooo not worth it

i want to change but i dunno what to do..

4:00 pm

lying on bed..watching tv..

7:00 pm

sholat..ngaji..

8:00 pm

want to study but no interest..so i juz laying on my bed..soing the same useless stuff..

then fell asleep

2:00

damn..somebody call me!! what an annoying person dont u know that this is time to sleep!! but..i quite like it cos, i juz like it..

first..juz wanna say..what a life..

been so tired this few days..my schedule juz so damn hectic..i know, u’ll probably say it’s the risk of being a student, my mom always said if u wanna be a smart girl..studey!! hello like all the kids know that..

i know, i should be so thankful for all i have rite now..i mean, i have life, i can eat, i have gud friends, i can go to a gud school, i have clothes,car, well almost all..

but, why this life feel so empty, meaningless and no future,,even i have all..